The Republic of Tower Hamlets is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its burgeoning squirrel population. The hard-working, democratic population of 4.767 billion Tower Hamletsians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The strong Tower Hamletsian economy, worth 320 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 67,206 bitcoins, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Tower Hamlets's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tower Hamlets is ranked 146,315^th in the world and 6,170^th in Osiris for Smartest Citizens, with 30.38 quips per hour.